Monday, February 21, 2011


So, this had me cracking up and I thought I would share it with you.  I always like a good laugh.  I read it to Charlie and was laughing so hard at times that I had tears coming down my cheeks.  He didn't think it was that funny, so maybe you won't either - but one out of two adults thinks this is hysterical.

 Why God made moms - from the mouths of babes . . .

Enjoy the answers given by elementary school age children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1.  She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2.  Mostly to clean the house.
3.  To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1.  He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2.  Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3.  God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. 

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1.  God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2.  They had to get their start from men's bones.  Then they mostly use string.  I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1.  We're related.
2.  God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1.  My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2.  I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3.  They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1.  His last name.
2.  She had to know his background.  Like is he a crook?  Does he get drunk on beer?  Does he make at least $800 a year?  Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores.

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1.  My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. and my mom eats a lot.
2.  She got too old to do anything else with him.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1.  Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
2.  Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power because
that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. 

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1.  Mothers don't do spare time.
2.  To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. 

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1.  On the inside she is perfect, on the outside some kind of plastic surgery.
2.  Diet.  You know, her hair. I'd diet, may be blue. 

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1.  She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2.  I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.

3.  I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes she has on the back of her head. 

I think the funniest one for me was the bit about Dad making at least $800/year and saying NO to drugs and YES to chores.  I'm even giggling as I type this.  Happy Monday.


Anonymous said...

loved it, it made me laugh after a rough hour with the kids and relieve the stress and tenseness in my jaw and shoulders. Thank you!

Amy said...

I was laughing hysterically too! And mine were the same favorite parts. But they were ALL funny.

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