thankfulness

Last night I read this post about the loss of a baby.  I already felt like I related to this woman.  This mother I have never met, and when I read about her baby girl who died at 5 months old I sobbed.  I sat at the computer sobbing quietly.

Trying not to waken my own 6 month old baby girl sleeping a few feet away.  Trying not to waken my husband who fell asleep watching a movie.  And wanting to comfort that mother.

Last night, every time my baby Grace woke up crying I ran to her.  I cradled her.  I whispered mama's prayers in her ears and breathed her baby scent.  I thanked God for her.

Last night I prayed for mothers who have lost their babies.  From before birth to adulthood.  It seems to be against the natural order.  We aren't supposed to have to endure that.

Last night I didn't bemoan my lack of sleep.  I didn't whine this morning that Grace woke up so many times.  I didn't reach for the baby sleep book and resolve to start "a plan" tonight.  Because my baby is here.  She is waking up in the night.  She coos.  She reaches into my hair and plays with it.  She smiles.  She cuddles the baby doll one of her aunts got her.

I am so thankful.